Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach we can use in seeking to understand ourselves and find joy in our lives. It is a paradigm in which our psyche is understood to include Self and Parts. It is the Self from which we are aware of our Parts. We have Parts of ourselves that are...Read More
In my office, individuals have often expressed that the person others see is not their true self. Often as well, folks are confused about or feel disconnected from their authentic self. But we want to understand ourselves, and we want to be respected by others. So here are some thoughts, questions, and ideas that may...Read More
In their book, The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work, Wampold and Imel conclude that psychotherapy is remarkably effective: “The effects of psychotherapy are greater than the effects of many medical practices, including flu vaccines, most interventions in cardiology, and treatments for asthma, some of which are very expensive and have...Read More
Marriage affords the opportunity for us to enjoy our lives together with a partner. It is a whole life, life long relationship. By whole life, I mean that partners are intimate with one another and are one another’s confidant. They entrust themselves to one another. They love and care for one another. They grow together...Read More
Teenagers with social anxiety spend less time with peers, exchange less personal information, experience more conflict with others, and are less skilled in resolving conflict. They may also pursue friendship with others who are struggling with similar difficulties which can limit the benefits of these friendships and may be less helpful in protecting against peer...Read More
With OCD, there is a relationship between the obsession and the compulsion. The obsession raises anxiety. The compulsion lowers anxiety – temporarily! Here is an example of worry that may reflect a subtle form of OCD. Elizabeth is worried that she may have cancer. Look at the relationship between her obsessive thoughts and the compulsive...Read More
In an earlier post (On the Way to Becoming an Adult), I described advantages and disadvantages in relation to the developing teenage brain. While the draw to novelty, risk, and peer relations helps to prepare teenagers for becoming independent adults, their impulsivity can also be hazardous. As teenagers are finding their way through adolescence, it...Read More
With recent technology, we have learned that a great deal of brain development takes place through the teen years all the way up to at least age 25. From age 12 to 25, communication between brain cells gradually increases by a hundred times. But it is to the teenager’s advantage that these physical changes move...Read More
We are continuing to learn more and more about how brain cells behave. We know now that neurons can respond to change. This is what we mean by neuroplasticity. And neuroplasticity may be involved in maintaining a normal mood in response to experiences in our relationships and our lives. Bipolar disorder may involve difficulties with...Read More
Among those afflicted with one or more episodes of major depression, there are differences in the kinds of symptoms experienced. Some individuals feel sad, empty, or hopeless. Others lose interest in almost all activities. One’s appetite may decrease or increase. One may have difficulty sleeping or sleep excessively. One may behave restlessly or become lethargic....Read More
First, we must distinguish between an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) and an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). They are not the same although they may have commonalities, and an individual could have both. For individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder, the compulsive behavior is an effort to resolve obsessive doubt. In a classic example, the individual checks to see...Read More
In an earlier post (Why Is Sexual Violence So Prevalent in Our Society Today), I shared information regarding the prevalence of sexual violence and the importance of talking with teenagers about healthy relationship behavior. About 1 in 10 teens have been physically or sexually abused on a date. The U.S. Department of Health and Human...Read More
Tragically, sexual violence and abusive behavior have been prevalent throughout history. It has never been uncommon for the most vulnerable individuals, particularly women, children, and those who are handicapped to be preyed upon by perpetrators of violent and controlling behavior. And it has a long history of being ignored or dismissed. Sigmund Freud, for example,...Read More
Teenagers with avoidant disorders may struggle with a chronic state of heightened anxiety which can impede their ability to make friends and participate in social activities. They may lack confidence, struggle with feelings of low self-worth, have difficulty expressing themselves, and exhibit extreme sensitivity to criticism. Their fear of rejection can become so extreme that...Read More
In an earlier post (Attachment Styles), I shared information regarding individuals with insecure attachment styles who may be anxious or avoidant in relating closely with others as adults. While growing up, one or both of their parents may not have been consistent in attending to them, nurturing them, guiding them, and encouraging them. Or they...Read More
John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, described several characteristics of attachment including the desire to be near those we are attached to, the feeling of being securely attached while separated, and the comfort experienced in turning to those with whom we are attached in times of distress. Mary Ainsworth described three major styles of...Read More
People have been known to make New Year’s resolutions for at least 4000 years. Throughout history, New Year’s has been a time for renewal. And it is a terrific and inspiring tradition. When we devote ourselves to embracing a new experience in our lives, dedicate ourselves to acting firmly on a course of action, and...Read More
Christmas, that special time of year. Such a wonderful experience! But what makes Christmas so special? Christmas morning, we wake up feeling excited. We’ve been making preparations, thinking of others, planning gifts, and arranging visits. Our purpose in preparing for Christmas has been about giving, about connecting with our family members and friends, and about...Read More
Well, it’s that time of year! We’re looking forward to Thanksgiving and all the holidays ahead. It’s a time for families and friends to come together and enjoy feasts and festivities. Of course, it’s also a time for making decisions, working out plans, and collaborating with one another in order to agree on those decisions...Read More
Are you struggling with poor self-esteem? Do you think negatively, constantly compare yourself with others, overreact to what others think without regard for what you think, dwell over mistakes or failures, or set low expectations for yourself? Would you like to improve your self-esteem? Well first, it may be more helpful to consider whether our...Read More
